What has always baffled me over the years is how I can scout talent and draft championship teams year after year and many of the real NFL teams have no clue what they are doing with their drafts. Wouldn’t it be awesome to actually do an NFL draft? That would take the fantasy out of the fantasy football equation. I’m sure I could draft for some poor struggling NFL team (coughCarolinacough) and instantly make them better. I mean seriously, who drafts Jimmy Clausen with their 1st pick? Or any pick for that matter.

I realized after several years of saying and thinking this that the odds of me actually ever getting to be a part of an NFL draft were about the same as those of Mel Kiper rocking a mowhawk or saying something remotely intelligent (sorry Mel, gotta call it like I see it).

As fate would have it, not only would we get to participate in an NFL draft but through the strangest series of events on record, Ryan Schoon and I would be selecting the entire 1st round ourselves!

We knew getting tickets would require us to stand in line for quite some time so being the overzealous nuts we are, we set up camp in front of Radio City Music Hall in New York City 2 days before the draft. Yes…two entire days before. We realized we had jumped the gun when we were the only one’s there with our tent set up. Waking up to the sound of a bum urinating on your tent wall is slightly traumatizing by the way. To make matters worse, it started snowing. In April? Must be the global warming everyone’s talking about. The snow came down faster and faster to the point it looked more like an apocalyptic scene from a movie than a New York City street.

Ryan and I had lived in Alaska for a decade so this was fun to us. We were staying there, camping and enjoying every minute of it no matter how much snow fell. Well, that was our general stance until we awoke the morning of the draft to THREE FEET OF SNOW! I kid you not. The entire city was shut down the day of the draft. The only people that were at the Hall were the television crews, the facility management people, Ryan, myself and that annoying jackwagon Mel Kiper Jr.

I thought to myself, “Please tell me we didn’t come all this way for the draft one draft in a lifetime that will be cancelled. We dug our way out of the tent that morning and entered the Radio City Music Hall to find out what was going on. As we were wandering the halls we heard Mel Kiper on a teleconference with Roger Goodell. Goodell was telling Mel the NFL would lose way too much money if this draft didn’t go on especially with the Collective Bargaining Agreement not being finished and a possible lockout looming. Mel volunteered to conduct the draft and take phone calls from all the teams with their picks. Not possible as Commissioner Goodell was currently on the only satellite phone in the Music Hall…there was no phone contact with the outside world. Mel then volunteered to just wing it and pick the 1st round the way he thought it should go. Goodell almost choked on his own spit laughing at that prospect. At that point Mel had heard enough and proclaimed, “Well, I’ve done all I can, you figure it out then Commissioner!” Ryan and I ducked behind an open door to hide as he stormed out of the room. Curiosity got the best of us and we had to walk into the room he was in. The conversation after that went as follows:

Snake: You have to give the Commish credit for not letting Mel Kiper mess up the draft!

Ryan: No doubt, I have no idea how he still has a job.

Commish: Who is that?! Who’s there?

Snake: Just us, Rick and Ryan from Pigskinaddiction.com

Commish: Oh! I love you guys! You helped me win two titles last season!

Snake: Is this draft going to happen sir? Who’s going to make the picks if it must go on?

Commish: The draft MUST go on. TV crews are there, millions are going to watch and the revenue we would lose would be crushing. How about you two make the picks? Just for the 1st round. Do you think you know what these teams need and can pick a good 1st round?

Snake: Sir, we know EXACTLY what they need and we’d do a better job than half the GM’s in the league right now! Have faith, we’re about to pick the best 1st round of any draft you’ve ever had!

Commish: Thank You! I was afraid I was going to have to let Mel draft this whole thing and ruin the NFL forever. Get me the TV Crew chief and you two get ready to make the picks. Each team has left notes on their table, use those and pick the best possible player you can for each team.

Snake: Yes Sir! We’re all over it. Can I go fire Mel Kiper? Please?

Commish: As much as I’d love that, we need him to broadcast this thing. Do what I do and put the “Charlie Brown Teacher” filter on whenever he speaks.

Like I said, nobody would believe this story if I told it a million times but that’s exactly how the 1st round of the NFL draft for 2011 went down. Talk about being in the right place at the right time! We were going to get to draft the entire 1st round the way we thought it should go rather than watching some of these teams make mistake after mistake yet again. They can thank us with season tickets or beer…we work cheap. Here’s how the picks went down:

1. Carolina Panthers

War Room Notes: We need everything! We suck.

The Pick: DE Da’Quan Bowers- Clemson

He’s Julius Peppers part 2. They could go WR AJ Green to give themselves a dynamic offensive weapon but it will take him 2 years to be fully ready and Carolina needs impact now. Bowers gives them that great edge rusher.

2. Denver Broncos

War Room Notes: Can we suit Elway up? Our Defense got run on like a treadmill, better shore that up.

The Pick: DT Nick Fairley- Auburn

After his dominating BCS title performance, Fairley shot up the charts…he’s just about unblockable. He’ll give instant boost to this horrible defense.

3. Buffalo Bills

War Room Notes: 25 wings from the Anchor Bar, 6 pack of beer, 6 pizzas.

The Pick: CB Patrick Peterson- LSU

Since the Bills were obviously more worried about the War Room food, we’ll hook them up with a 6’2” lockdown corner with amazing speed and cover abilities. This kid is a once-a-decade talent.

4. Cincinnati Bengals

War Room Notes: WR’s to replace the Bozo-Brothers.

The Pick: WR AJ Green- Georgia

The Bozo Brothers (TO and Ocho) are taking their VH1 show on the road and Cincy needs some new weapons. Green has the physical skills to dominate and will end up being the NBT@WR i/t NFL (I flip into text mode sometimes, sorry; That’s Next Big Thing at WR in the NFL).

5. Arizona Cardinals

War Room Notes: We miss you Kurt (with a heart drawn around it).

The Pick: DT Marcell Darius- Alabama

As badly as they need a QB, there just isn’t one talented enough to warrant a 1.5 pick so they might as well shore up their other weakness. Darius is an athletic mountain that mandates double-team blocking on every play. He’ll free up the rest of the D to do other things and lock down the run.

6. Cleveland Browns

War Room Notes: New uniforms? Can we? If not, then we’ll draft anyone that can catch the rock.

The Pick: WR Julio Jones- Alabama

Julio is a big athletic WR that has the physical abilities to take over a game. He needs to work on his hands and mental focus. WR’s this big and athletic don’t come around often and Cleveland sorely needs a downfield target for Colt McCoy.

7. San Francisco 49ers

War Room Notes: Call Andrew Luck, cuss him out. Call my brother, ask him who looks like Flacco in this draft. Call Michigan, tell them they blew it 3 years ago when they hired that clown Rich-Rod.

The Pick: CB Prince Amukamara- Nebraska

Harbaugh would love to land a QB to mold here but it’s a bit of a reach for anyone that will fit his system. Mallett is a possibility but I think they take the other lockdown DB in the draft who is great on run support too and get their QB later.

8. Tennessee Titans

War Room Notes: I want a mobile QB and Fischer if you screw this up again I’m going to personally boot you to the moon! Signed: Bud Adams.

The Pick: QB Cameron Newton- Auburn

He’s mobile, has a strong arm and possesses all the mental qualities Vince Young didn’t. Cam knows how to lead and he knows how to win. It showed in the BCS game he needs a little work on his throws still but he’s got the tools to get there. Bud gets his man.

9. Dallas Cowboys

War Room Notes: Jerry needs a tic-tac…yeah he does. Did his teeth just fall out? If I here “reprioritization of the Cowboy dynasty” one more time from him I may vomit. Let’s play tic-tac-toe? Okay, you first. X

The Pick: RB Mark Ingram- Alabama

The War Room weasels were obviously bored listening to Jerry Jones. Since we get to make the pick, I’m not listening to him either. Ingram is Emmitt Smith part 2! It’s a reach this early but there’s no way Dallas could pass on that. You put a big line in front of Ingram and he’ll be Emmitt all over again. They need a running game in the worst way.

10. Washington Redskins

War Room Notes: “I need a QB to completely ruin, talk bad about and just generally hate.” Signed, Mike Shanahan.

The Pick: QB Ryan Mallett- Arkansas

Mallett has the size to see over the line and a cannon for an arm. He can make all the throws with ease. His problem will be getting rid of his “happy feet”. He feels the slightest bit of pressure in the pocket and he hits the panic button and throws INT’s. We’ll send him to Shanahan bootcamp!

11. Houston Texans

War Room Notes: How is it we only won 6 games again? We have everything, what should we draft?

The Pick: DE Von Miller- Texas A&M

The Texans really are the most talented 6-10 team to ever play in the NFL. They have studs at every position and yet they can’t seem to win games. Miller gives them a devastating rush end opposite Mario Williams. The two of them will wreak absolute havoc on AFC QB’s.

12. Minnesota Vikings

War Room Notes: Call Brett one more time, notify ESPN of “Un-retirement IV”.

The Pick: DE JJ Watt- Wisconsin

The Vikes need a QB but they’re too old to develop a rookie. They’ll have to hit the FA market for that. Everything else is good so adding a future Jared Allen before Allen is actually gone will give this defense an adrenaline shot they need.

13. Detroit Lions

War Room Notes: WWNSD (What Would Ndamukong Suh do?) We are Lions hear us roar! We won 6 games now we try for 2 more!

The Pick: DE Aldon Smith- Missouri

Smith is an athletic freak whose stats aren’t big because he missed a lot of time. Adding him as an edge rusher with Suh holding down the middle gives the Lions an awesome D-line. They truly are on the rise now.

14. St. Louis Rams

War Room Notes: Bradford needs a WR or they will bury him under the turf this year.

The Pick: WR Jonathan Baldwin- Pittsburgh

Baldwin has a scary size-speed combo that DB’s just can’t match up with. He’s unpolished but with some work he could be Plaxico Burress part 2, in his prime and minus the handgun down the pants shooting stuff. Bradford needs a WR weapon or he’ll get killed again.

15. Miami Dolphins

War Room Notes: GET A QB…preferably one that throws more passes to our team instead of our opponents.

The Pick: QB Blaine Gabbert- Missouri

Gabbert is the flavor of the month at QB. Personally I don’t think he’s even close to ready yet and his work ethic leaves something to be desired but he’s got great size and mobility and a very strong arm. Miami will take another shot at finding a franchise QB here.

16. Jacksonville Jaguars

War Room Notes: Anyone that can give us more than 3 sacks over the last 5 games! We need a pass rusher more than Mel Kiper needs hairspray!

The Pick: DE Robert Quinn- North Carolina

Jacksonville is the worst pass-rushing team in the league. They just can’t get to opposing QB’s and as a result their secondary gets carved like Thanksgiving bird. Quinn gives them that big athletic rusher off the edge they’ve needed for so long now.

17. New England Patriots

War Room Notes: I hate Rex. I hate Rex. I hate Rex. I hate Rex. I hate Rex.

The Pick: DE/DT Cam Heyward- Ohio State

New England has 2 picks in each of the first 3 rounds…the rich get richer. Heyward is a perfect fit for the Pats. He can play inside or out and Hoodie will even have him drop in zone coverage. He’s a dream for this defense; Big, agile and fast. Yippee, the Pats score again.

18. San Diego Chargers

War Room Notes: O-line, D-line and a babysitter for Vincent Jackson.

The Pick: DE/OLB Ryan Kerrigan- Purdue

The Chargers could use a boost on either line. Their pass rush would get an instant boost with Kerrigan. He’s a speedy edge rusher who can play OLB and has that non-stop motor we see in the great ones. They could go O-line here to keep Philip Rivers upright.

19. New York Giants

War Room Notes: 5 pit bulls sent to Michael Vick’s house ASAP.

The Pick: OLB Akeem Ayers- UCLA

The G-men need an athletic LB that can fly all over the field as well as rush the passer. Ayers fits the bill perfectly. It’s been a while since they’ve had one of those LB’s.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

War Room Notes: We own this draft…just like last year! Bring on the thugs.

The Pick: DE Adrian Clayborn- Iowa

Clayborn has amazing physical talent but a boatload of issues as well. He’s a bit of a head case and the Bucs love that (See WR Mike Williams). Clayborn didn’t have a stellar year in 2010 but that won’t scare the Bucs away. They need someone opposite Gerald McCoy to bring the pain.

21. Kansas City Chiefs

War Room Notes: A bodyguard or two for Cassel.

The Pick: OT Tyron Smith- USC

Smith is a behemoth at tackle and exactly what the Chiefs need to keep Cassel upright and Jamaal Charles exploding into the secondary. They could easily go D-line here as well as that’s another area of need. For now we’ll give them Smith and call that offense great.

22. Indianapolis Colts

War Room Notes: Peyton yelled at us all morning to get him a big OT.

The Pick: OT Gabe Carimi- Wisconsin

Carimi is just what the doctor ordered for the Colts offense. Manning was sacked more than groceries this past season and he’s just not used to that. Carimi is your typical corn-fed nasty monster that will block the snot out of people. He’s Peyton’s new BFF.

23. Philadelphia Eagles

War Room Notes: 52 sacks surrendered this year and most of those against the fastest QB in the league…we need beef!

The Pick: OT Derek Sherrod- Mississippi State

The Eagles O-line needs a overhaul. The rest of the league has figured out the way to beat Michael Vick is to punish him. Sherrod gives them a little more protection for their Superman QB.

24. New Orleans Saints

War Room Notes: Run D help and a running back that doesn’t get hurt when the wind blows.

The Pick: DT Stephen Paea- Oregon State

It wouldn’t shock me to see them go RB with Leshoure here but should they decide to go defense Paea gives them an interior wall to stop all the running. The Saints run D was a sieve last season and they just can’t get back to the promised land without help there.

25. Seattle Seahawks

War Room Notes: We made Jay Cutler look like Joe Montana…I think we need some pass D help.

The Pick: DB Janoris Jenkins- Florida

Jenkins is a super-athletic lockdown DB that likes to play physical and always finds himself around the ball (ala Ed Reed). This gives Seattle at least one side of the field that can’t be shredded by opposing QB’s.

26. Baltimore Ravens

War Room Notes: Re-stock and Reload…we will destroy our enemies both foreign and domestic.

The Pick: DE Allen Bailey- Miami FL

Putting an athletic beast like Bailey on the end would fit perfectly in this defense. Corey Redding was so-so, Bailey gives them another monster off the edge opposite Suggs. This could get even scarier.

27. Atlanta Falcons

War Room Notes: Just called T-Gonz, he said he’s reading “How to Retire” by Brett Favre and he’d call us back when he’s done.

The Pick: TE Kyle Rudolph- Notre Dame

Tony Gonzalez is still one of the best TE’s in the game at the ripe old age of 35, it’s time to bring in his successor. If T-Gonz doesn’t hang up the cleats he can tutor the kid for a year. Rudolph has awesome athleticism and provides a mismatch nightmare for defenses.

28. New England Patriots

War Room Notes: All your picks are belong to us!

The Pick: DE/OLB Justin Houston- Georgia

It’s almost disgusting hooking the Patriots up with Cam Heyward first and now Justin Houston. That defense is going to be downright scary. They gave up a lot of yards last year and adding the speedy Houston to the mix will help stop that. Heyward and Houston on the outside, Jerod Mayo in the middle…good night Irene.

29. Chicago Bears

War Room Notes: Number of death threats received from crazy Chicago fans saying we better fix our O-line or else: 453,327.

The Pick: OT Anthony Castonzo- Boston College

The Bears need O-line help like you wouldn’t believe. Cutler had grass-back almost every game and Forte couldn’t find much room to run against good D’s. O-line is a HUGE need. Castonzo gives them a big athletic lineman with good feet (insert Rex Ryan joke here).

30. New York Jets

War Room Notes: (A drawing of a bunch of feet) Oh that’s just creepy. All these feet and a little note, “Draft someone with good feet”. Poor Rex.

The Pick: DE/DT Cameron Jordan- Cal

The Jets offense is pretty much set so they’ll look to add more toys to the defensive side of the ball. Jordan is an excellent tackle with enough athleticism to slide outside in passing situations. He’ll fit perfectly up front with the Jets scheme.

31. Pittsburgh Steelers

War Room Notes: Must have another Pouncey!

The Pick: OG Mike Pouncey- Florida

The Steelers drafted one Pouncey brother last year and he’s an All-Pro, why mess with that kind of success? If it’s not broken, don’t fix it! They add another Pouncey and the brothers hold down the interior of the Steeler line for the next decade.

32. Green Bay Packers

War Room Notes: If Rodgers gets hit one more time in the helmet he’s Batman, we better keep him safe.

The Pick: OT Nate Solder- Colorado

Solder lacks polish but he’s incredibly strong and athletic. The Packers will school him up and have him watching Rodgers’ back in a year or so. They could use D-line help as well but protecting Rodgers after the playoff show he just put on becomes top priority.

Albert Haynesworth has decided that he doesn’t want to play Nose Tackle for the Redskins 3-4 Defense….he’s bitching and complaining that just because he has a contract with the Redskins he shouldn’t have to do what ever they want him to do. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That contract is worth $100 Million dollars! Hold on….let me say that again: Albert Haynesworth signed 100 MILLION dollar CONTRACT to play football. Let’s not forget he accepted his 21 million dollar bonus this year too and now he wants to complain because they asked him to do what he’s paid to do? (again…he’s being asked to play FOOTBALL for $100 Million dollars!)

Let me ask you a question – Could you tell your employer that you just didn’t feel like you could do your job and still collect a paycheck? HELL NO! You’d be fired on the spot! People like Haynesworth shouldn’t be allowed to say a word to anyone! The guy needs to shut up and just play football. I don’t know anyone that wouldn’t give their left nut (or right for that matter) to suit up in an NFL uniform and play football for a living given the money players make these days.

I have an idea for you Albert…how about you give me your paycheck for the football season and I’ll fake an injury and sit on the sidelines and you go deploy to Iraq for a bit and collect the $40,000 an enlisted member of the armed forces gets for an entire year? How about that?? I’d bet my entire years salary that Albert wouldn’t have the sack to do that! Grow up Albert, shut up Albert and just play football. Players like you ruin the game!

Hell yeah I’ll sign my name to this, it’s my blog! – Ryan Schoon US Air Force 19 years and counting

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5. Score you some serious action…she might be 300 lbs. on 1 leg and a kickstand with a full beard, but you’re totally getting some dude!
6. Make you an elite athlete…you follow our diet plan of beer and nachos in combination with the remote control curl regimen and you will be dominating any sport you want.
7. Make your hair grow back…dude, seriously…rub the guide on your head and you’ll be rocking an afro by Christmas. Hollaaaaaaaa!
8. Make your game with the ladies undeniably smooth…what chick doesn’t want a guy to whisper PPR stats into her ear?
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10. Make you a better cook…we’re so in love with food and beer that we’ve tucked 10 hidden recipes into the draft guide that will have you grubbing!
11. TAKE YOU TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE!

Okay, everything but #11 may be just a bit of a reach, but #11 is ALL YOU! Take the info, dominate your league from start to finish and talk smack all the while. Our information will entertain you like nobody’s can and inform you without all the generic every day regurgitated crap. We don’t rank on last year’s numbers because last year is OVER! Stay ahead of your league with the underground rag they just don’t know about…the 2010 Pigskin Addiction Draft Guide. You’ll have such an advantage over those dillrods in your league it should almost be considered cheating!

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As an example, I’m using my long-time 16 team league to illustrate my point. This league consists of many knowledgeable owners (and a few questionable ones – but what league doesn’t?) that have played fantasy football for many years. Our Team Defense/Special Team scoring system is also fairly similar to many leagues:

(Click for the Grid)
Scoring Grid

During the 2009 season, a total of 20 Team Defenses/Special teams were drafted in this league, leaving a total of 12 Team Defenses/Special Teams available at the end of the draft. The top performing fantasy defense at the end of the regular season was the New York Jets with a total of 145 points. The Jets defense was drafted 13th overall! The next two top performers were the New Orleans Saints and San Francisco 49ers with 141 and 136 fantasy points respectively. Both of these defenses went undrafted! In addition, some of the first team defenses drafted with early picks were average at best. The Pittsburgh Steelers defense was the 2nd overall defense drafted and finished ranked #17 in terms of fantasy points. The Chicago Bears and New York Giants Team Defenses were drafted 4th and 5th overall and finished ranked as the 24th and 27th team defenses in total fantasy points. Taking the top Team Defense/Special Team off of a cheat sheet is no guarantee of fantasy success!

I mentioned earlier that 12 team defenses went undrafted in this league. A total of 3 of those defenses finished in the Top 10 in fantasy points. Five of the twelve finished in the Top 15. So why waste an early pick on a defense when there are bargains to be found in the free agent pool?

So when it the right time to grab that Team Defense? I’d propose with your last pick, and then only because you absolutely need one to field a starting lineup in Week 1. Let’s face it, your NFL defenses don’t show you much during the scrimmages and pre-season games. They’re often playing against 2nd and 3rd stringers early on. In addition, the defenses are also auditioning role-players and trying out a number of new looks to throw at the opposing offense.

My theory is to draft you Team Defense with your last pick based solely on their Week 1 opponent. Draft a defense that is opening up at home against a weaker opponent, start them week 1, then begin watching the stats for a replacement defense. Most owners don’t begin to consider a replacement team defense until they get closer to the first round of BYE weeks. Even if their current team defense is not putting up fantasy points, they’ll still typically stay with them for a few more weeks. With most owners opting to draft only 1 team defense for their roster in a 12 team league you’ll typically have 15+ options to pick from in the first 2-3 weeks of the regular season. Your goal will be to pick up 1 or 2 free agent Team Defenses before the beginning of Week 3 of the NFL season.

Even the top scoring Team Defense has a few weeks where they score a relatively low number of fantasy points. You can chalk this up to road games, difficult opponents, and injuries to key players. However, even the worst NFL teams can have a string together a few weeks of good fantasy numbers based on favorable home games against weak opponents. In 2009 the New York Jets scored a total of 8 fantasy points against the Saints, Dolphins and Bills. Conversely, the Cleveland Browns finished the season in weeks 14 – 16 scoring a total of 38 fantasy points against the Steelers, Chiefs and Raiders.

Once you have claimed you new defenses out of the free agent pool, your goal will be to identify 3-4 week stretches to start each defense. It’s also important to continue to monitor the team defenses available in the free agent pool to determine if there are better candidates available for later in the season. Using this system, the combination of your token drafted team defense (I assigned them the average Week 1 points of the last 3 defenses selected in my league) with the New Orleans Saints (weeks 2-4, 8-11), Buffalo Bills (weeks 4-7, 12, 13) and Cleveland Browns (weeks 14-16) resulted in a total of 175 points from Week 1 – 16. Another combination of the token Week 1 defense plus the Denver Broncos (weeks 2-4, 9-13) and Cleveland Browns (weeks 5-8, 14-16) results in 150 points. This second option seems more realistic as it includes two “0” points weeks from your team defense.

In order to utilize this strategy of rotating Team Defenses it is important to know your league scoring system. This strategy will not work for leagues that emphasize Team Defense Scoring and award points for non-standards stats such as yardage allowed. It’s also important to not get zoned into one particular defense no matter how much success they might be having. Trust your research and stick with your initial plan. Finally look for better defensive team opportunities as the season progresses and don’t be afraid to trade for a defense that you’ve targeted for potential success for 3-4 week stretch.

Let’s face it, grabbing a Team Defense early is just a wasted pick that could have been put to better use improving your benching or securing potential trade bait. Many undrafted Team Defenses can be expected to out-perform higher ranked defenses and a solid rotation of Team Defenses can be expected to result in similar points of a Top 5 Team Defense. Punting on defense will add to your total weekly points, improve your chances of winning and give you a better shot at taking home your league championship!

2010 Fantasy Football Draft Kit

The Pigskin Addiction Draft Guide will……
1. Make you instantly cooler…you just touch this thing and gain 10 cool points.
2. Make beer taste better…you read this thing and suddenly beer tastes 1000 times better! We conducted EXTENSIVE studies on this.
3. Make chicks totally dig you…seriously, what chick doesn’t dig a fat bald guy reading a magazine with a pig on the cover? It’s a done deal homey.
4. Make you the life of the party…you show up to the party with this thing and people will flock to you. Chicks will hang on your every word and dudes will bring you beer.
5. Score you some serious action…she might be 300 lbs. on 1 leg and a kickstand with a full beard, but you’re totally getting some dude!
6. Make you an elite athlete…you follow our diet plan of beer and nachos in combination with the remote control curl regimen and you will be dominating any sport you want.
7. Make your hair grow back…dude, seriously…rub the guide on your head and you’ll be rocking an afro by Christmas. Hollaaaaaaaa!
8. Make your game with the ladies undeniably smooth…what chick doesn’t want a guy to whisper PPR stats into her ear?
9. Help you get a promotion at work…print all 140 pages of this out on the color printer at work and hand it to the boss…MONEY!
10. Make you a better cook…we’re so in love with food and beer that we’ve tucked 10 hidden recipes into the draft guide that will have you grubbing!
11. TAKE YOU TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF YOUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE!

Okay, everything but #11 may be just a bit of a reach, but #11 is ALL YOU! Take the info, dominate your league from start to finish and talk smack all the while. Our information will entertain you like nobody’s can and inform you without all the generic every day regurgitated crap. We don’t rank on last year’s numbers because last year is OVER! Stay ahead of your league with the underground rag they just don’t know about…the 2010 Pigskin Addiction Draft Guide. You’ll have such an advantage over those dillrods in your league it should almost be considered cheating!

Just hit the homepage and order today! http://www.pigskinaddiction.com

Big News: Don’t count on Mariners SP Cliff Lee for the first four weeks of the season. He’s got at least 3 weeks to rest his oblique and then a possible 5 game suspension to serve after that. Don’t expect him until mid May. Guess who had the most saves over the last three years? Twins closer Joe Nathan. With Nathan out for the year, freakishly tall 6’11” Jon Rauch will begin the season closing games for the Twins and volunteering his days off helping midgets reach stuff on the top shelves at nearby Minnesota grocery stores. Mets SS Jose Reyes will begin the season on the DL. Word is he’s just getting in shape since he missed so much spring training time. He should return 2-3 weeks into the season. Ian freakin’ Kinsler begins the season on the DL completely screwing my fantasy team at 2B.

Medium News: I once had a 94 year old great grandmother who fell and broke her hip. She was still less injury prone than Nick Johnson. If he was your sleeper DH/1B this year forget it. He fouled a ball of his leg and is day to day. Nick Johnson might as well be in a coma. Who knows when he’ll come back from this… Phillies closer Brad Lidge may miss the first two weeks with elbow soreness. As a closer this isn’t a major impact on his overall value to your team as he may only miss a few opportunities…Orioles 2B Brian Roberts should be ready for Opening Day…Angels SP Jered Weaver had a very poor spring statistically. If he starts the season slow you may want to trade him before he loses all his value…Nationals OF Nyjer Morgan reportedly has the green light to do as he pleases on the base paths this year.

Small News: D-backs SP Brandon Webb will miss at least the first month and may not help anyone this season. Blue Jays SP Ricky Romero has had a very nice spring and could be a solid starter for your fantasy team. Red Sox 3B Mike Lowell is very likely to be traded to the Rangers but won’t help your fantasy team this year. If you wear your sunglasses at night you won’t be able to see Jim Edmonds starting over Corey Hart in RF for the Brewers. Yes, I think that may have been the worst joke I’ve ever made. At least I’m not Nick Johnson. Ian Kennedy pitched well to nail down the 5th starter spot in Arizona. He should get decent win totals this year and could outperform his draft spot by a long shot. Mike Jacobs is likely to start at 1B for the Mets. This is only good news for Mike Jacobs and his immediate family.

Pretty snappy title eh? Came up with it myself. Almost pulled a hammy doing it too. Fortunately there’s no chance you’ll accidentally put me in your fantasy lineup. There is however a chance you could draft a player without knowing his injury history. We’ve all been in the draft room in person or online when some dolt picks the player who just had his leg amputated last week. In person we just put our head down and hope nobody goes into full Boy Scout mode and blurts out the truth. Online with no fear of physical repercussions our reaction is quite different. “Are you kidding me? How did you not know? Get out of your mother’s basement once in awhile!” Here’s the latest DL on some top 100 players who might be on your DL.

Albert Pujols, 1B, Cardinals: Got your attention didn’t I? Pujols’ ADP is #1 across the board. Where’s all the analysis of his offseason elbow surgery? Sure, it was in October, which gave him 4 months to recover before spring training. All should be hunky-dory right? Not so fast. Earlier this month Cardinals team physician Dr. George Paletta said Pujols has a “high-grade” tear of the ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow, as well as bone spurs, inflammation and arthritis in the joint. His elbow surgery wasn’t a cure, it was a band-aid and although he’ll start the season in the lineup, the problems could return. Take this into consideration when drafting or trading. Having had a similar condition in my shoulder before my own surgery, guess what? I’m trading Pujols before this column posts.

Cliff Lee, SP, Mariners: The Mariners must feel like Toyota owners. Their shiny, new offseason purchase is in the shop for repairs already. Lee has an abdomen strain and cannot throw without pain. The Mariners have shut him down for the rest of spring in the hope he can avoid a DL stint to start the season. In my experience muscle injuries of this type take 2 weeks to heal.

Yadier Molina, C, Cardinals: The youngest and best of the flying Molina’s strained his right oblique muscle on Mar. 24th and will be sidelined through the rest of Spring training but is expected to be ready for the start of the season. Keep an eye on his availability.
Justin Upton, OF, Diamondbacks: Sprained ankle. Nothing to worry about at this point. Should be good to go Opening Day. Nothing to see here folks. Keep it movin’.

Dustin Pedroia, 2B, Red Sox: “Whut uh pissuh!!! That’s wicked bad luck,” is what they would say back in Red Sox Nation. Mighty Mite reportedly sprained his wrist on the 23rd and x-rays showed no break. He was supposed to play Friday but was held out. Check his status closer to Opening Day.

Roy Oswalt, SP, Astros: Oswalt left Friday’s exhibition game with a hamstring strain. That’s twice this spring that Oswalt has complained of pain in the same leg. He was initially awarded the Opening Day start for the Astros, but if he’s on your team, don’t count on it.

Jose Reyes, SS, Mets: It turns out that Reyes’ thyroid issue is a good thing for fantasy owners. Manager Jerry Manuel had planned to move Reyes to the third spot in the lineup, which would have drastically reduced his opportunity for steals. With Reyes missing three weeks of spring Manuel reportedly will bat Reyes in his customary leadoff spot. Thyroid problems may give him big, googly eyes like the Geico stack of money, but they also will give fantasy owners about 60 stolen bases.

Joe Nathan, RP, Twins: If you don’t already know, then you deserve to come in last.

Ian Kinsler, 2B, Rangers: High ankle sprain. Uggh. The phrase just gives me shudders. It’s like nails on a blackboard to fantasy owners in any sport. Kinsler hasn’t played or practiced since Mar. 11th and had a cortisone shot in the ankle on Mar. 26th. His availability for opening day is in doubt. If he’s on your team you’d better have a replacement ready.

Lance Berkman, 1B, Astros: Lance took BP on Friday without any problems, which is a good sign, but he has yet to run without his knee swelling up like a blowfish, which is a bad sign. He plays first, so running isn’t a big issue in the field, but he does have a habit of hitting the ball frequently which I’m told requires quite a bit of running. Remember when we were kids and you’d put a pinch runner standing right next to home plate to run for the fat kid as soon as he hit the ball? So far the majors have yet to adopt that rule. With the depth at 1B you might be well served to look elsewhere for your 25-30 HR’s this year.

Next week: Opening Day News and Notes